Layovers are boring, but you are not. You are an intrepid traveller with your trusty rucksack and cotton pajamas you bought specifically to nap through airplane turbulence. A few extra hours to kill when you’re sleep-deprived in an airport in a country where you can’t speak the language? That’s just another adventure on the way. 

Illustration by Urja Kaulgi

 

1. Rank airline uniforms as though you’re a judge on Project Runway. (Emirates has the nicest stewardess uniforms–just our opinion.)

2. Google “How to Fly An Airplane”. Read the steps aloud so the person sitting next to you can hear. 

3. Lie flat on the floor. When airport security comes to arrest you, tell them you were imagining what it would look like if airplanes had sunroofs. 

4. Go to the Duty Free shops, take out a handwritten grocery list, and tell them you need doh kilo kanda. 

5. Speak in an exaggerated American accent the whole time. 

6. Make a mental list of all the pickup lines you would have used on that cute single person drinking a coffee at the airport Starbucks. Remember that you’re not actually going to approach them because you’ve been in a cramped plane for 6 hours and you smell a bit. 

7. Run around the terminal flapping your arms like a bird. Tell people you look ‘super fly’. It’s airport humour, they’ll understand.